Tough Times
by Gleek foster kid
Summary: Taken over for PLLFan865. What happens when they might loose one of their own? Will the family be strong and pull through or will it slowly tear them apart...
1. Chapter 1

**AN- Hey, so I am taking this over for ****PLLFan865****. I will still be in collaboration. The first 6 chapters are their writing and from then on it'll be mine. **

Stef P.O.V

"Jude!" Callie screamed. "Jude can you hear me! Please wake up baby! Why aren't you waking up?"

"Callie! What's going on? I ask coming up the stairs. As I reach the top and open the bathroom door the sight scares the shit out of me. Callie is there cradling Jude in her lap, but Jude appears to be pale and unconscious. Blood is seeping onto Callie's hands. I scurry over to Callie to assess what's going on.

"Callie, sweetie what happened?" I ask while taking Jude out of her arms and checking for a pulse. "LENA, call 911 we need and ambulance. I begin to check Jude and notice a stab wound on his abdomen and a laceration on his forehead.

"Callie I need you to get me towels and help me hold pressure okay?" She doesn't move, but keeps whispering to herself. "Callie!" I say trying to get her attention. When it doesn't I call out to Lena. "Lena! Get me towels." I begin to notice that the whole family is starting to gather around the door, so I instruct them to help me. "Jesus and Mariana help get Callie out of here and cleaned up." I instruct them. Callie had stayed silent and kept her head down looking at the blood on her hands since I took Jude from her.

"Oh my gosh. What happened," about time finally Lena came and with the towels.

"I'll explain later. Just help me apply pressure." I tell her even though I have no clue what happened. "Brandon go and wait for the ambulance. Callie, you need to go with your siblings." I say to her, as her whispering grows louder. When it's finally audible I realize she's blaming herself.

"It's all my fault. It's all my fault. It's all my fault."

As I'm going to say something to her Lena bets me to it.

"Callie, listen to me. None of this is any of our fault we'll get to the bottom of this, but for now we have to make sure Jude's okay." Lena tries to comfort Callie.

I hear multiple footsteps coming up the stairs. The EMTs move to where I am as I step aside.

"His name is Jude Adam Foster. Pulse is weak. Stab wound to the upper abdomen and laceration to the forehead." I fill them in as they start hooking him to IVs and machines and covering his wounds.

"Ready for transport," says one of the men. "Who's going to be riding with him? We can only take two."


	2. Chapter 2

"BP is dropping…" Says the paramedic in the ambulance as we are on our way to the hospital. Lena thought it would be best if I went with Jude to the hospital and Callie, for sure, wasn't going to leave his side so she's came also. Lena is on her way with the others right now thinking the kids needed at least one of their mothers with them. Here I am with Callie watching the beautiful boy in front of us is slowly slipping away. I currently have one arm around Callie trying my best to comfort here and one hand on top of Jude's. How could this have happened especially to Jude? From the corner of my eyes I see Callie's walls coming back up after breaking down in the bathroom. The pain and fear in her eyes give her actual emotions away.

"We're losing him." The paramedic pulls me from my thoughts. Callie's head snaps up so fast you can hear it crack. She shouldn't even have to be witnessing any of this. This can't be happening right now. We are almost there.

"Starting compressions. Joe what's our ETA?"

"4 minutes out" Joe, who I guess is the driver, says

.

After two minutes the man finally announces that Jude has a rhythm. I sit back and release the breath I was holding, but Callie seems to tense up even more.

"Joe, hurry up before we lose him again." I'm going to be sick. I know I should be used to this by now since I'm a cop and all but this is my child's life, and a very important part of this family. I don't know what we would do if we lost him. The ambulance finally comes to a halt. I notice we are here, but Jude's machines start to go off and beep.

"Shit. We're losing him again." The back doors swing open and a whole group of nurses and doctors are there with a gurney ready to transport Jude.

**General P.O.V**

Callie and Stef jumped out and followed behind doctors who were trying to revive Jude. A nurse appears and stops them from going through.

"Ma'am I'm sorry, but we can't let you through. Staff only. There's a waiting room down the hall to your last door to your left. I will come and update you whenever I hear something. The doctors are doing the best they can your son his in good hands." Stef nods her head feeling numb.

"You don't understand I have to be there with him. He has to know I love him. You can't stop me." Callie says putting her foot down. She's trying to get passed the door Jude went through but the only thing in her way is the nurse and Stef's grip.

"Callie, calm down. Jude's not going anywhere. Look at me, Callie. We'll be right here just let the doctors do their job." Stef says trying to calm down a teenager in distress. As she swallows her tears down Callie speaks again.

"Stef, I can't. He needs me. He has to know I'm sorry, but I had to do it before everyone got hurt."

"Do what Cals?" She doesn't respond. "Why don't we take a seat." Stef says as she pulls her over to the empty waiting to room to the corner couch. Stef grabs Callie and brings her into a tight hug.

**Callie P.O.V**

So many thoughts are processing through my mind that I think I might pass out. Jude. I feel like I'm in autopilot. Since going in the ambulance my mind has been racing. What if Jude doesn't make it? It's my entire fault. I shouldn't have done it. I feel someone squeeze my shoulders and notice I somehow am cradled into Stef and am sobbing. Somehow I manage to look up and see that the rest of the Fosters are showing up including Mike. Lena comes over and sits next to Stef while Mariana sits on the other side, and I'm between Stef's legs. Lena is stoking my hair, which makes me breakdown into louder sobs, and I can't manage to stop it. It hurts. My heart actually feels like it's tearing to pieces.


	3. Chapter 3

Stef P.O.V

"It's been over 3 hours! Where the hell are the doctors?" I exclaim getting very frustrated.

"Stef, honey breathe. The doctors will tell us something as soon as they finish working on Jude." Lena says while she gives me the look and makes me realize we still have other kids to take care off.

Callie is currently sitting on a chair two seats away from me, while Mariana occupies the seat between us. Lena is to my left with Jesus right next to her, while Brandon is leaning on Mike next to Jesus. It's been silence except sniffles from the kids. Callie has zoned out as if she's not even here. Mariana still has tears since she arrived and same with Lena and the others. I notice someone walking up toward us, and snap my neck up.

"Doctor how is he?" I say quickly getting on my feet with Callie hot on my tail.

"Is my brother okay? Is Jude going to be okay?" Callie questions.

"May I talk to you and your partner privately?" The doctor says eyeing Callie scared he might set her off. I look toward Callie and see she really wants to know what's going on. Something is wrong though. I can feel it.

"Yes. Mike take care of them for a few minutes." He nods.

As we reach a corner of the room he begins talking.

"Jude is currently in a very critical stage right now. When he first arrived we were able to revive him. As we got him stable, we took him right into surgery because of internal bleeding and to see if the stab wound punctured anything. Unfortunately the sharp weapon went into his stomach. We have repaired it and controlled the internal bleeding. But due to severe blood loss and lack of oxygen Jude appears to in a coma. We also have inserted a breathing tube to breath for him, which is a ventilator. You guys can go see him as soon as we finish talking, but only 3 at a time, but 4 max. Do you have any questions?"

"Is he going to wake up soon?" Lena asks.

"Mrs. Adams-Fosters in his current state we hope he starts breathing on his own first. He is currently on life support." He says.

"Oh my god." The tears are forming in my eyes again. "What does it mean if he's not breathing on his own soon? He is going to breath on his own though, right?" I say.

"I'm sorry to break the bad news, but in Jude's current state it doesn't look good so far. If he doesn't start breathing on his own after 48 hours we have to consider taking him off life support."

"That would mean he won't breath on his own afterward, which means…Oh my God, Lena he can't die."

"I have to get to another patient. I'm really sorry to break the news. If you need anything just ask a nurse to page me." As he goes Lena embraces me in a hug, but I'm to numb by the doctors words. I pull back from Lena.

"Lena, how are we going to tell the others? And Callie she's going to be beyond devastated."

"I don't know, Stef. We have to be strong for them. We will get through it together."

We take each other's arms, and start walking to the others, while mentally embracing what's going to happen next.


	4. Chapter 4

"They aren't sure Jude is going to pull through, but they are doing the best they can." Stef says to everyone. Mariana is sobbing uncontrollably hugging her twin who also is crying yet trying to be strong. Brandon is silently crying getting comfort from his dad, and then there's Callie and the moms. The moms aren't sure if Callie heard Stef or what, but she isn't reacting. They wish she could show any emotion because this is scaring them.

"Callie?" Lena says cautiously reaching forward to touch Callie's arm. Callie is so zoned out that when Lena touches her, she flinches and jumps back in a defensive stance. As reality dawns on her, she takes in everything and can feel someone missing in her heart. _Is this really happening,_ she thought. _It's all my fault. _

"Does this mean he's going to die? He can survive though. He's so strong and he can't leave me. We promised each other we'd always be together and inseparable forever." Callie says with tears starting to come down. Lena and Stef look at her and can see how much this is killing her.

"The doctors are doing the best they can Cals." Stef says as she goes in to give Callie a hug, but is then pushed away but Callie.

"Screw the doctors! What do they know?" Callie exclaims. "He can make it."

"I'm on your side, Callie. Would it help if you went in to see him?" Stef asks knowing it might calm the teen to see her brother. The teen nods.

"OK, we'll be back soon and then you guys can go." Lena says toward her other children and Mike.

As the moms and Callie reach Jude's room, Callie doesn't hesitate to open the door, and immediately goes straight to Jude's side while Stef and Lena linger in the back shocked at Jude's sight. Even though the doctor told them what happened this moment felt to surreal.

"It's going to be okay Jude. I promise I will always be here for you. Don't leave me alone. It's going to be all okay." Callie says as she becomes silent lying next to Jude. As time goes by, the moms tell Callie it's time to switch with the others.

"No."

"Callie the others need to see Jude too." Lena says in tears.

"I'll go get the twins and Brandon right now. Mike just texted me he has to leave. A case just popped up." Stef tells Lena.

"But the doctor said four people in the room max."

"Yes, and…"

"Go get them." Lena says knowing they all need to be together.

A couple of minutes pass as the door reopens to show Brandon and the twins. You could here a gasp coming from Mariana as she takes sight of Jude. Jesus and Mariana go up to the foot of the bed as Brandon goes next to Mariana. The moms are each on one side of the bed. Lena has a grasp on Jude's left hand while Stef is running her hand through Callie's hair where Callie has become very silent.

"Jude we are all her for you, bud." Jesus speaks up. He can't stand the silence, but deals with it considering the circumstances. As time ticks by the antsier Jesus gets and the more everyone begins to feel the current event catching up to them. About an hour passes and Stef speaks up.

"It's time to go home. Come on say your good nights to Jude."

"See you in the morning, bud." Jesus and the rest say getting up from the floor. Everyone's in their standing positions ready to leave, but Callie remained in her spot in silence.

"Come on, Cals. The earlier we go home and sleep the earlier we get to come tomorrow." Stef sighs trying to convince Callie.

"No."

"We aren't allowed to stay overnight, sweetie."

"What if something happens and we aren't here?"

"The doctor and nurses have my number and they'll call me straightaway. Say goodnight and we'll be back before you know it."

As they arrive home the cops seem to be leaving. Upon entering the house each child went into their rooms ready for the night to be over with. Jesus feels lonely without having his room shared and prayed for Jude to get better. Brandon is playing a sad song on his keyboard, and Mariana is on her bed still with tears in her eyes painting her nails blue.

Callie gets up from her spot in bed and goes to the bathroom. As she enters the bathroom she remembers the scene that took place her a few hours ago. She takes her toothbrush and quickly exits to the bathroom downstairs not wanting to remember what happened in the upstairs bathroom. After she finished she went back upstairs to her room and just sat with her back against the wall focusing on her breathing. Every time she thought of losing Jude her breathing quickened. _She had one job and one commitment. She was supposed to protect him. All the protection she gave him is now all thrown away. _But as time went by all she could focus on was him that she hadn't realized Stef and Lena came in.

"Callie, it's okay just breath." Callie hears, but can't identify the voice. That's when she releases the breath she is holding. As her head starts to clear she realizes she needs to get out of the house.

Stef looks at Lena with a concerned look on her face. Callie stands up still in her day clothes looks around the room locating her bag.

"I need to get out of here." Callie says quickly grabbing her back and is already headed down the stairs.

"Callie come back here." Lena says chasing Callie but is pulled back by Stef.

"She needs time to absorb everything's that has happened."

"Stef! She's emotionally unstable right now. You think it's her best interest to go out to God knows where in her emotional state?!"

"Shit." Stef says running down the stairs hoping Callie didn't make it far yet.


	5. Chapter 5

"Lena, I'll track down her phone." I say grabbing my phone from the counter in the living room.

"What phone, Stef? The one she left in her room." Lena says with attitude.

"Of course she would. I'll go search around the block and you stay here with the kids."

"Stef, don't come home without our baby girl."

"Not planning on it."

After hours of searching I receive an incoming call from Mike.

"Mike?"

"Yes. Stef…" I cut him off knowing I have to tell him about Callie, who's more important.

"Mike. Callie's gone. Lena and I were trying to calm her down, and she said she couldn't be in the house, and ran out the front door. I've been searching for hours and came up with nothing." I say rambling it all out.

"Stef, it's going to be okay. That's what I called you about. After my shift, I went to the bar around the block from the station and found her inside. She's refusing to leave, and I'm scared to touch her in her fragile state. I don't know how many drinks she had, Stef. She's spiraling down quickly." Mike says while I make a quick U-turn and head straight to the bar.

"I'm on my way. Keep her safe, Mike." I say hanging up and throwing my phone to the passenger seat.

As I arrive to the bar, I head straight inside find my way to Mike.

"Mike, where is she." He points to a corner in the dark.

"Stef, I tried everything but she isn't in her right state of mind."

"Thank you." I say while we head over to Callie sitting in a chair on the corner.

"Hey, Cals." She doesn't even acknowledge me or look up. "Time to head home, sweetie" Knowing I have to save the questions I have know for later.

"Want me to help get her in the car?"

"That'll be greatly appreciated." I respond to Mike.

"Callie, can you get up and walk or do you need us to help you?" She shook her head but I don't think it's to my question. She's so out of right now so I look toward Mike and I nod to Mike and together we lift Callie up to her fit. Both of us wrap one arm around her waist and put her arms around our shoulders.

When we arrive to the car ready to put her in, Callie finally mumbles something.

"I'm going to be sick." Before Mike and I know, Callie drops to her knees bringing Mike and I down with her.

"It's okay, Cals get it all out. It's okay." I comfort her pulling her hair back as Mike rubs circles on her back. As she finally finishes, we can finally put her in the car.

"Thank you, Mike. I owe you big time."

"Just glad I could help out. If you need anything. Anything at all, calls me please."

"I will. Thank you again Mike." I say getting into the driver's seat.

Throughout the car ride, Callie keeps her eyes closed as I run my hand through her hair trying to bring her some sort of comfort. I feel so scared and upset for her. She shouldn't be dealing with this. When I park in the driveway, I run inside to get Lena knowing I won't be able to carry her all the way alone. As we head back to the car, I open the door and Lena goes to unbuckle Callie.

"Callie, wake up sweetie." Lena gently says. Callie moans. "Come on let's get you in bed. There we go."

We finally get her into the house and head up the stairs. It's barely possible to get her up the stairs half asleep and wasted. She stumbles on each step and keeps refusing to comprehend what she's doing. We finally make it to her bedroom as she flops onto her bed. Lena starts to take Callie's clothes off as I find a pair of sweats and a tee shirt for her to sleep in. We manage to get her situated in bed, but before we leave we hear her mumble something that makes are heartbreak.

"Mommy."

We make are way out the bedroom saying goodnight to both our girls. Mariana is already sleeping and Callie is so out of it.

"So how are the others doing?" I ask.

"Under the circumstances, they are trying to hold it together for Jude and Callie. Brandon didn't want to talk about. Mariana was in tears when I went to tuck her in, and I found Jesus sleeping in Jude's bed with tear streaks down his cheeks. Honey, how are we going to get through this?"

"Together."

By the time morning rolled around Lena was still sleeping so I go and check on the kids. First I head to Jesus' room, and see his still sleeping on Jude's bed so I leave him be. Next, I go to Brandon's room and see he's up so I decide to talk to him.

"Hey, B."

"Mom, I don't want lose Jude."

"Aww sweets."

"He just became part of the family and now this happens. It's not fair. He's such an innocent child." I wrap him into a hug as he breaks down in my arms.

"It's going to be okay." We sit in silence for a couple of minutes before he regains his composure.

"Thanks, mom."

"Anytime. I'm always here for you. Now go shower because we are leaving after breakfast to the hospital." I say getting up and going to the girls' room.

When I open the door to the girls' room, my heart warms up to the sight. Mariana is wrapped in Callie's arms on Callie's bed. They look so peaceful I don't want to disturb so I stand still in the doorway. A minute passes and I feel arms wrap around my waist and a chin on my shoulder. I don't even need to look over to know who it is. I know her scent from anywhere. Lena is taking in the sight as well. We head downstairs after a couple of minutes.

"I think we should call our parents." Lena suggests. I nod.

One by one our children make their way into the kitchen ready and dressed to go. None of them have an appetite, but we manage to get them so eat something. I look over each one of them and notice Callie rubbing her temples. I head over to the medicine cabinet and get two aspirins and a cup of water for her knowing she probably has a hang over. She takes it without a word.

"Alright, time to go. Everyone head to the car." Lena announces getting us out of our trances.

Soon we are all in Jude's room watching and waiting for him so wake up and get better, but I know better than the others that that might not happen. There's a knock on the door and see the doctor enter.

"Good morning. I see we have a the whole family today."

"Good morning." Lena and I reply, as the kids don't even look up.

"Is there any updates about his conditions?" I ask.

"May we speak privately outside?" Lena and I share glances knowing something is up.

"Even with life support, Jude seems to be getting worse. We really need to consider getting him off life support instead of letting him suffer."

"That would mean we would let him die." Lena chokes out.

"Mrs. Adams-Fosters, you won't be letting him die because in his state his already there. The only difference is that the ventilator is breathing for him. We can't do anything more. I highly consider not letting him suffer and take him off life support. I'm sorry to sound insincere but that's the fact. I even had other doctors come in and give their opinions but they all said the same thing. Sooner or later he will need to come off it. Don't prolong the fact and it would be best if you do it sometime tomorrow. I will leave you guys to take all this in. If you need anyone to talk to, I can call someone or you can have a nurse page me. I'm sincerely sorry for your situation."

"Our parents are flying in tonight. Do you mind if we think it over?"

"Stef, you can't really be considering this?" Lena questions shocked.

I don't respond and keep looking at the doctor for a response.

"Of course. And again, I'm really sorry this has happened to your family."


	6. Chapter 6

Stef P.O.V

"Are you going to tell us what the doctor said?" Jesus asked repeatedly. It has been a couple of hours since the doctor came to talk to Lena and I about Jude's condition, and the kids know something is up.

"We told you we will discuss it as a family when we go home and your grandparents arrive." Lena and I agreed to share the news about Jude being taking off life support with better support of our parents since we know it's going to be hell.

"For now, talk to Jude about everything and that he's going to be okay no matter what's going to happen." Lena says in a gentle voice.

"Hey Jude," I say walking up to his bed, "I love you, buddy. Since the moment I saw you and Callie hug back in the old foster home. Everything's going to all be okay. Just do what you feel is right. Be safe." I say trying to get closure, but it feels wrong.

"Mom. Why are you talking to Jude as if he were going to die?" Mariana asks. "He's not going to die is he?"

"No sweetie. He's a fighter he won't give up." Lena says taking my place as she feels my hesitation.

"He's not going to die right, Stef?" Callie asks me. How am I supposed to respond to her? I'm trying to hold off this discussion until we get home, but it's getting harder.

"We will discuss he's situation when we get home." I state.

"No, Stef. If there is something about Jude's health, I want to know. Is he going to die?" Callie says sitting up from her lying position on Jude's bed. "Stef?"

"I don't know Callie. I really don't know anymore." I snap.

"How about we head home. Jude doesn't this negative energy in his room." Lena says looking at me. "We have to clean the house anyway for your grandparents." She says know looking at the children. "They are arriving in two hours, so how about we go get some dinner and then go home."

Nobody answers, but they all get up except Callie again.

"Come on, Cals. We went through this yesterday if anything happens the doctor will call us."

"Something feels wrong." Callie says sensing something.

"Like what?" Brandon asks.

"Something with Jude. I can't shake off this feeling like something worse is going to happen to him." She says. I can't help but quickly catch eye contact with Lena feeling fear between us. Callie and Jude's bond is remarkable.

General P.O.V

"We have arrived." Sharon states coming in the front door with Stuart and Dana behind her. The depressing tension can be felt as soon as they step foot in the house.

"Hey mom." Stef says going in for a hug to her mother as Lena does the same with her parents.

"So where are our lovely grandchildren?" Stuart asks searching.

"Kids, your grandparents are here." Stef yells from the bottom of the staircase.

"They've been up there since we arrived." Lena explains.

"How are things going here?" Dana asks her daughter.

"Under the circumstances, I'm not really sure. Jesus is trying to keep it all together for everyone. Mariana expresses her emotions which I am thankful for, but she's really upset, and Brandon is keeping things bottled up." Lena explains. "And Callie is a whole different story. She is mourning like Jude is her son, which he in a way is. She isn't handling it well. Last night she ran out of the house and it took Stef hours to find her. Callie was at a bar drunk trying to numb everything."

"Oh my God. That's unbelievable. I'm so sorry to hear that. Is there anything we can do to help?"

"We have more news to share with the kids concerning Jude's condition. We have to consider taking him off life support soon. The doctor said the best time would be tomorrow afternoon."

"But I thought Jude needed that to breathe." Sharon says trying to put it all together.

Stef looks to Lena if she was going to respond but say Lena about to have a breakdown so she took over.

"The doctor said he's condition is worsening even with life support. He's already brain dead so we wouldn't be killing him because he was already dead except for the fact the machine is breathing for him." Stef tries to make her mother understand. "We aren't sure how the kids are going to react so we need all of you here with us."

"Hey Gramps and Grammies." Jesus says as the others greet their grandparents coming down the stairs.

"What's up my man?" Stuart responds.

"Nothing but the fact moms won't tell us about Jude's condition. Are you going to tell us now?" He says looking at he's mothers.

"Yes, but first everyone get a seat to sit." Stef says knowing it was going to be hard. Stef and Lena sit together on the love seat as the grandparents sit on the three sitter next to them and across from Stef and Lena sat the kids on the floor. No one had a good feeling about this.

"… Wait, then what happens to Jude if we take him off life support." Brandon asks with tears.

"He's going to die…" Callie says softly not wrapping her head around what was being said.

"So basically we will be killing him if we make the decision to turn off his support?" Jesus asks.

"No. No, according to the doctor Jude is already brain dead and his conditioning is worsening even with the life support. All we are doing by turning it off is giving Jude the actual peace of letting go."

Everyone has tears in their eyes and streaming down their faces. Nobody is sure how to take the news.

"No." Callie says not looking up from her lap.

"No what?" Lena asks.

"No, no, no." Is all what is coming out of Callie's mouth as though she is speaking to herself. Stef and Lena get up from their position on the love seat to try to comfort and understand Callie.

"I had to protect him all my life from the worst places and homes. Out of all the homes this was the safest. How is this possible? Out of all foster homes he gets hurt in this one. This is bullshit. You can't let him off life support. I was supposed to die protecting him from all of this before the incident." Callie feels like her whole world is spinning, so she gets up trying to understand. She pulls from her foster mothers' grasp.

"It's all my fault, but he shouldn't have walked into the bathroom when he did. I told him he couldn't know what was happening." Callie says speaking her thoughts out loud which no one was supposed to hear if she were in her right state of mind. The whole family sat there confused as to what is happening.

"What happened in the bathroom sweetie?" Stef asks walking up to Callie who was now at the other side of the room.

"He wasn't supposed to get hurt. Let alone be there. He said I couldn't have murder on my criminal record. But I had nothing to lose at the time. I couldn't get adopted, Jude has a great home here, and so I had nothing to lose. My mission was to get Jude adopted and now he is, so there was nothing else I needed to protect him from."

Callie says not realizing she's speaking out loud. The whole room is focusing on her and her words finally realizing that she's about to tell them what happened the night of the incident. The scariest thing was Callie was talking without emotion like she didn't want to believe anything.

"All I needed to do now was protect myself. Liam said he was going to kill me and then Jude and you people sitting over there. I was going to take care of it, but right when I was going to leave, Jude decided to enter. He tried to talk me out of it but I guess I was so focused on killing Liam I didn't bother listening. That's when he reached to grab the weapon out of my hands." Callie looks at her hands mesmerized. " I didn't mean it. Liam was back and I just wanted to able to finish him off once and for all. He tried to take the knife away from me but it slipped from my hand as he grabbed it with such force. I don't recall him every being that strong. He stood back as his eyes followed were the knife landed on him. The blood. The silence."

"Callie. Callie." Stef was saying trying to get Callie out of whatever is happening now.

"It's all my fault. What type of sister am I?" Callie says still going on. "It should have been me lying on the hospital bed or better yet, six feet under the ground." Everyone finally understands, but is now scared for Callie.

"Callie, listen to me." Stef grabs Callie's arms to stop her from pacing around the room and get her out of her trance. Callie flinches and tenses underneath Stef's grasp which everyone in the room notices. Callie relaxes but soon tenses again when she looks at the others' faces which shows that her thoughts she was thinking was actually her speaking aloud.


	7. Chapter 7

**AN- So this is the first chapter actually written by me. I hope you guys like it. I know this is a shorter chaptet. I****'ve already written the last one that is mroe than twice as long. **

"Guys, up stairs with me and Grandpa," Dana said quickly as she watched the mixed emotions of her grandchildren and daughters. Stuart, Dana, and Sharon were able to get the four kids up the stairs as Stef tried to calm Callie.

"Love, listen to me, this isn't your fault," Stef said softly, stepping closer to Callie, with her hand that wasn't holding onto Callie's arm. "You didn't know he was going to grab that knife."

"I should have! I should have known he was going to try and stop me," Callie all but screamed "And this is all my fault! I wanted Liam dead, not him. He can't die! I told you I felt like something was off with Jude and you made me leave him. And now tomorrow you're going to kill him. Don't you understand?! I _can't _live without him. I'm loosing everything. Rita was wrong."

"Wrong about what, Callie?" Stef asked, trying to keep the girl talking.

"She said the universe isn't against me, obviously it is. And then she told me to give Robert Quinn a chance, so I did. I told them I was his biological daughter and now he won't sign the abandonment papers. She's such an idiot! She ruins everything," Callie fumed.

"Baby," Stef tried to pull her into a hug.

"Don't," Callie said harshly, pulling away, "Robert's going to make me move in with him. Jude's gone. You aren't my mother, he won't let you be" Callie cried angerly Callie was able to pull away from Stef, letting out a frustrated half yell when she saw Lena standing at the front door, ready to block Callie from another night out drinking. Callie turned and ran up the stairs two at a time. The door to Stef and Lena's room was open and Callie could see the grandparents and kids sitting on the bed. Turning she slammed the door to her bedroom and flung herself on her bed, starting to cry.

It was an hour later that Stef and Lena finally made their way upstairs. Looking into their bedroom they saw everyone watching a movie. In the girls' room they found Callie asleep clutching a sweatshirt of Jude's.

"She cried herself to sleep," Lena said softly, looking to see her daughter's tear stained face. She brushed hair out of Callie's face, "Sshh, Mom's just going to take your shoes off," Lena whispered as the girl jerked, kissing her forehead when she stopped fighting. Stef slipped Callie's shoes off and threw a throw blanket over her.

Once everyone else had gone to bed they made their way to their bedroom, both a little too tipsy from a glass too much of wine. Neither had spoken to eachother much in the last two hours. "What do we do?" Lena asked after an eternity of silence.

"I don't know," Stef admitted.

"Do you think they'll ask? what happened."

"I know," Stef returned the sigh.

"For a brief moment, I hated her," Lena whispered, "What the hell was she thinking?" She asked, "And then, oh God, Stef. My baby. Both of them."

Stef pulled Lena in her arms, resting her chin on the top of Lena's head, "She wasn't thinking rationally, and she was scared, scared to be taken away from us, scared of what Liam said to her."

"How do we keep her safe?" Lena asked as Stef could feel her squeezing her eyes closed.

"I don't know," Stef sighed, "I don't know what to do, without telling Roberts." Stef stroked Lena's hair as she felt moisture on her collarbone, the slight tremors of Lena's body.


	8. Chapter 8

"Callie, where are you going?" Stef asked. Stef hadn't slept that night and once Lena had fallen asleep she had crept downstairs with a blanket, a book, and a cup of coffee. She had been trying to read yet it seemed like more often than not she was just turning the pages. Around ten in the morning Callie came down dressed in jeans and a jacket.

"I told Daphnie I would go to the diner and have breakfast with her," Callie said as she threw on her backpack.

"Not today, Love. Once Momma wakes up we're all going to the hospital," Stef said sitting up a little, "Come sit by me."

"No, I promised I would go, I'll head to the hospital later," Callie said opening the door.

"Callie, I said No," Stef said firmly, trying to keep her tone in check.

"You're not my mother," Callie said as she started stomping up the stairs.

"Don't wake your Momma," Stef hissed. All noises stopped, and then a tiptoeing up the stairs.

Stef sat back and closed her eyes. The emotions were giving her backlash. Her own emotions, her wife's, her oldest daughter's. It would be easier somehow if she believed in God or some other higher power, Stef mused to herself. At one time she believed in God. But now, she couldn't. She couldn't believe in something that made her gay, and then ostracized her for it, something that let parents abandon children, and something that was taking away her sweet boy, who she was convinced was going to change the world one day.

"Stef?" The quite voice pulled her from her thoughts. She looked at her daughter, she was out of her jeans and into a pair of fuzzy PJ pants and a short t-shirt.

"Hi, My Love, come sit by me," she said, scooting over.

Callie ignored her and sat on one of the chairs, "I can't go with out guys," she said softly, looking at her hands, "I can't watch you kill him."

Stef's heart clentched, "You understand, Cals, don't you? He's brain de-"

"I know what brain death is," Callie said sharply, before going soft again, "But I can't watch you kill him. Not when it's all my fault."

"Baby," Stef breathed as her heart clenched, reaching for her.

"Don't," Callie said sharply, standing up quickly and running. Stef closed her eyes, obviously she did that wrong. She jumped when the ack door slammed. Walking over she found Callie sitting on the edge of the porch, strumming on her guitar. And Stef decided to just leave her for the moment. Going into the kitchen she pulled out a carton of eggs, a thing of sausage, some cheese, and tortillas. She wasn't hungry but she knew Lena wouldn't let them not eat.

"Good morning."

Stef looked over to see Lena wrapped in her robe, her curls unruly as she walked towards her, kissing Stef on the cheek as she grabbed the tomatoes and a cutting board, starting to chop them.

"Morning, Love," Stef replied softly.

They worked silently side by side to get breakfast done. It felt weird to Lena, not weird exactly, she and Stef were never silent when they cooked together, and the silence upstairs was too open, too loud. The silence next to her wife, felt comfortable, easing up the weight on her chest.

"Morning, Slug-a-bug," Lena said, they were setting the stuff for breakfast burritos on the table when Callie walked in the house.

"morning," Callie replied offhandedly as she set her guitar on it's stand and joining the family at the table, 'the foster family,' Callie chastised herself in her mind, this was never going to be her family. Even if Robert Quinn would sign the abandonment papers, they wouldn't want to adopt her, not now. Not without Jude.

"So, everyone needs to be ready to go in a half hour," Stef said as she picked at her plate, "B I want you to drive the van jut in case."

"K," he replied, not looking up.

"Does anyone have any questions?" Lena asked as she looked around the table at her family, "about anything that's happening today?"

"What will happen? When they turn off the machines?" Mariana asked in a whisper.

Lena closed her eyes to gain her composure from the question, "Once we turn off the machines Jude will stop breathing, because the machine isn't doing it for him, and within the span of a minute or two his heart will stop beating."

"Will it hurt? Will he be scared?" Jesus asked.

"The doctors will make sure he's in no pain, and we can all be there, he'll be surrounded by his family. He won't be scared," Stef assured.

"Maybe Coleen will be there, waiting for him," Mariana said, looking over at Callie.

"That's a nice thought. Maybe," Lena answered softly.

"Ok, guys, upstairs to get ready," Stef said as an uncomfortable silence fell over all of them. Stef and Lena watched as three of the four kids walked upstairs.

"Callie?" Stef asked, as she watched her stay seated, "Did you want to ask something, Love?" she asked as she slipped into a stool next to Callie.

"I want to sing to him," she said softly.

"Ok," Stef nodded.

"When they turn the machines off. There's a song I used to sing to him all the time... When foster parents... When things got bad... I didn't realize then that it was about dying... Not until about a year ago. I just, it's our song."

"It's ok, Love, I promise, you can do whatever you want," Stef said, refraining from trying to hold Callie, content with the fact that she was talking a little to her without running, "Go get dressed, OK? And then we'll get going."

Callie nodded, sliding off her stool and heading upstairs. Stef looked over at Lena who had tears in her eyes. Stef was dressed herself but Lena was still in her robe, "Do you want me to go upstairs with you?" she asked softly.

Lena shook her head, "I'm fine," she said, turning quickly, "Stay down here for the kids. I'll keep an eye and ear upstairs and you keep one down here."

Stef agreed and started to clean up the breakfast mess. It wasn't until one that afternoon that they got to the hospital. As Stef came to a stop in the parking lot she looked through her rear view mirror. The boys had taken the van, and Callie and Mariana sat huddled in the back seat. She wished she could see her wife, but she had gone with the boys, "alright, Loves, lets get inside," she said, breaking the silence. Callie gripped her guitar hard as they climbed out of the car, falling easily into a group with the rest of the family who had parked just a ways away.

"Stay here while we talk to the nurse really quickly," Stef said as they stood outside of ICU. The kids watched as Stef and Lena walked through the doors.

"Jude's had a tough night," the nurse said as soon as she saw them, "his doctor would like to talk to you right away. I will page him." Stef nodded numbly as she grabbed Lena's hand as they walked over to Jude.

"Hi, My Love," she whispered in his ear, kissing his temple, "me and Momma love you more than you could ever know."

"You made our life so much brighter, even if it was just in a eight months. I could never imagine my life without you in it," Lena said through tears as she kissed his cheek.

"Tell your Mommy how proud we are, to have gotten to raise you, and get to raise Callie. She made some pretty amazing babies," Stef said as she squeezed his hand gently, "We have to let you go, Baby, me and Momma can't in good conscious let you suffer any longer," she said as tears filled her eyes, "I promise you we'll take care of Callie. You don't have to worry about her."

"And you are so loved. By me and Mom, and all your siblings. We're all going to miss you so much," lena said, suddenly aware of her children standing behind her, they must have been allowed in by the nurse.

Stef feeling Callie behind her, fidgeting, pressed her hand on her lower back to bring her closer to her and Jude, "Hi, Buddy," Callie whispered, "I love you."

"Lena, Stef?" Stef turnd to see the doctor and excused herself and Lena while the kids stood around Jude. "Jude's condition is getting worse as time goes by," he said gently, looking at the two women grasping hands, "in my opinion-"

"We made a decision. We can't keep letting him suffer," Stef spoke for him.

"I know how hard that is to decide. If you can come with me for a few minutes we'll sign some paperwork and then you guys can say goodbye."

Lena nodded as they followed him silently.

"He almost looks like he's sleeping," Mariana spoke quietly.

"He's not," Jesus spoke harshly.

"I know," Mariana said. Tears started to fill Callie's eyes and Mariana turned towards her, placing a hand on her upper arm. "The day of Grandpa's funeral, I asled him if he believed in heaven. He said that he believed people were up there watching over us. Now he'll get to too," she said softly.

It was 20 minutes later that Stef and Lena made it back, filling out all the paperwork that let the doctor turn off the machines.

"I said goodbye already, I can't sit here anymore," Jesus said. Stef watched as his knee bounced up and down and her bounced from side to side, "Bye, Jude. I'm going to miss sharing a room with you," he said one more time as he squeezed Jude's hand and walked out with Brandon close behind her.

"I'm sorry, I can't," Mariana said, her eyes pleading at Callie, "Please don't hate me."

"No one hates you, Baby," Lena assured wrapping her arms around Mariana, "It's ok, go find your brothers." Mariana scampered out of the room, leaving Callie alone with Stef, Lena, and the doctor.

"It won't hurt him at all," the doctor assured as he started to mess with wires. Just tell me when you're ready." Callie scooted onto the bed, sitting cross legged next to him, not moving when Stef slipped in behind her, wrapping an arm around her. Callie tensed for a few moments before relaxing. Stef rested her other hand on Jude's leg.

"It's ok, Baby, we're all right here," she whispered to Jude as Lena went to the other side of him, grabbing his hand with one, cupping his cheek with the other.

"We all love you so much, Buddy. I'm going to miss you," she choked out softly.

"I love you," Callie whispered before picking up her guitar. Stef nodded to the doctor as Callie started to sing,

"_Dragon tails and the water is wide, Pirates sail and lost boys fly. Fish bite moonbeams every night, and I love you. Godspeed little man, sweet dreams little man. Oh my love will fly to you each night on angels wings. God speed, sweet dreams." _

Stef watched as Jude took a breath on his own, and then another 20 seconds later, they were gasps that wouldn't give him sufficient oxygen.

"_the rocket racer's all tuckered out. Spiderman's in pajamas on the couch. Goodnight moon will find the mouse, and I love you. Godspeed little man. Sweet dreams little man. Oh my love will fly to you each night on angels wings godspeed. Sweet dreams." _

Lena looked over at the heart monitor as it became erratic, going flat for moments at a time. As it started to whine, the doctor shut it off. She tried to ignore the doctor looking at the clock and writing down the time and instead listening to her daughter's last verse.

"_God bless Mommy and matchbox cars. Godbless Momma and thanks for the stars. God hears amen wherever we are. And I love you. Godspeed little man. Sweet dreams little man. Oh my love will fly to you each night on angels wings. God speed. Sweet dreams." _

**An- sorry for the huge delay. We haven't had internet. Next scene is that night. Mariana and Callie. **


	9. Chapter 9

Stef sat on her bed, as Lena laid beside her. Lena was faking sleep, but Stef knew from her breathing that she wasn't. The intermitrent hitches. They had put all the kids to bed, and once they had both changed Lena turned towards the wall, refusing the invitation to be held, instead pretending to sleep for the past two hours. Deciding to get herself a glass of water she headed downstairs.

"Callie, Love, what are you doing?" Stef asked gently. Two hours ago she put her oldest child to bed and now she was in the kitchen, scrubbing the kitchen cupboards.

"The kitchen was filthy. Stef- I just mopped," Callie said as Stef started to walk into the kitchen.

"You don't have to worry about that, Cals, me and Momma will take care if it. Come on, let's us both go back to bed."

"I'm not tired," Callie argued.

"I don't care, it's midnight. It's way past time for bed," Stef said trying to keep her voice calm. She wanted to cry, and the fighting wasn't making it any better.

"Fine," Callie said, throwing the sponge in the sink, and dodging from Stef as she ran into her room. Stef closed her eyes, following her up the stairs. Callie shut her's and Mariana's bedroom when she went in, Stef knocked gently.

"I'm asleep, go away," Callie called.

Stef opened the door to see Callie laying in bed, "You want to talk, Love?"

"Nothing to talk about," Callie said, as her pointer finger rubbed across the bridge of her nose. Stef sighed, but picked up Callie's Ipod from her desk.

"Maybe this will help you sleep," Stef said as she handed it to Callie. Callie rolled her eyes but took it from Stef, putting the buds in her ears, her finger going back to her nose.

"Alright, go to sleep, Love," Stef said softly kissing her forehead. Before walking over to check on Mariana who had stirred. Thankfully she had stayed asleep. Going back into her own room she sat on her side of the bed. Without talking she laid down and scooted towards Lena, silently she wrapped her arm around her. Sighing in relief when Lena scooted back so she was flush against Stef.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Callie?" Mariana asked groggerly, "Callie, are you alright?" She asked sitting up and turning on her bedside lamp. Callie was sitting up in bed wide-eyed, her breath coming quickly and tears streaming down her eyes. "Callie, what's wrong?"

"Nothing," Callie whispered, rubbing her eyes quickly.

"What happened?" Mariana asked as she slipped out of bed and sat cross legged facing Callie on her bed.

"Nothing, I just... Had a bed dream," Callie said softly.

"About Jude?" Mariana asked.

"About all of them. Jude, my mom, Donald. I drempt I was in the car crash, Jude too. And when Donald got in the wreck, everyone was dead except me," Callie whispered, "Blood was coming out of my mom's head, and Jude's stomach, he was impailed by a pipe. I watched as his eyes rolled back in his head and them it just went quiet. There was no noise, not even traffic."

"I'm going to get Mom," Mariana said.

"No!" Callie stopped her loudly, "Please don't."

"Why?" Mariana asked.

"I just... I don't want her to know," Callie said as she slumped forward, resting her elbows on her knees.

"Ok," Mariana said, staying were she was. "Callie, are you mad at me?" She asked quietly.

"No," Callie shook her head.

"I'm sorry, I left."

"Why did you? Why did you leave me with Stef and Lena?" Callie asked accusingly.

"I couldn't watch him die," Mariana said softly.

"So you left me just with them?" Callie asked in anger.

"They're our moms. You were fine with them," Mariana said defensively, "I couldn't do it."

"They aren't my moms. They'll never be my moms," Callie said exsasperated, "I needed you."

"I'm here now," Mariana said lowering her tone, "I'm here for you. But Jude is-was my little brother. I couldn't watch him die."

"He was my everything," Callie said softly, "And now he's gone. You have Jesus and Brandon. He's all I ever had."

"You have us now," Mariana said, "You ARE going to be adopted, but even if you weren't, you would still be apart of this family."

"I miss him. It's been less than 24 hours and I miss him," she whispered.

"Me, too," Mariana said as Callie scooted down so she was laying.

Mariana was silent as she scooted out of bed and went to her bed, "goodnight, Cals," Mariana said softly as she watched Callie putting her ear buds in her ears,

"Good night, Mar."


End file.
